He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
