You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So much rum. So many feels.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
