Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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