a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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