he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
