reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
