can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize