So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
