i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Mom said you looked used
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
