what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
