Where is the hickey?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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