Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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