so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize