Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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