we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
