Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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