Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
