Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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