Farmville is her only friend.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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