I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
How's work?
Spinning.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
