i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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