His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
