Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
