You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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