Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
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