theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
