I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
