1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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