Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
