I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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