This is not my ceiling
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
