U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she told me i tasted like america
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
