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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose

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• (512): View more from Texas

  3.50 mugs at the bar.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.

  (512): View more from Texas

  How ugly, and does she have friends?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  What am I doing with my life

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Specially the ones that look like Goldberg

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• (206): View more from Washington

  If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.

  (253): View more from Washington

  Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??

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• (850): View more from Florida

  try to milk me bitch

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