He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
