After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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