who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
