We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
