I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My dick has a subreddit
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
