its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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