Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
