i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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