I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
