I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
