Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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