So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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