My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
