your parents love me but you hate me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
