I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
