and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
