She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
