Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
