I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
