I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
