what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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