We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
