So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
God, I missed his penis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
