this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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