Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
