Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
