i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
